Dress to be Addressed!

“Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.” – Marilyn Monroe

A few months ago, social networks and various tabloids all over the country were agog over the public outcry made by a certain church about a certain wedding gown. As the story went, it seemed that the bride of their General Overseer’s son had worn a ‘provocative’ gown to her wedding ceremony.
Funny as it might have seemed, the disgruntled church members were having none of it! As far as they were concerned, the lady had gone against their doctrines by shining brighter and looking prettier than she normally should have. In a way, I got their point. How dare she wear such a lovely, lovely dress when women before her had been made to wear ‘china white’ or poplin for theirs? She even had the effrontery to make up and look all pretty! The chic had taken the tiger by the tail!

This is just one of many stories of how fashion has been made to look like a vain thing and the word ‘style’ has been kicked out of the dictionaries of many women. In actual fact, many people pay very little attention to their appearance and only settle to put on the first thing their hands touch when going out.
Well, I’ve got news for you! Believe it or not, fight it or embrace it, how you look matters a lot when trying to make it in life.

Fashion and style is a very important criteria in creating an appealing image- which is one of the keys to success. Contrary to public opinion, fashion is not just about the clothes you put on. It is an ensemble of your hair, clothes, shoes, accessories, make up and even down to your grooming!

We human beings are highly visual creatures and it is almost always the first impression made about you that sticks.
In the world of business and even in the world, Psychology tells us that it takes only 4 seconds for people to form an impression about you. After those 4 seconds, people would then look for things about you to justify that first impression they have made. People will use a series of selective impressions and will ignore things that are inconsistent with what they have decided to believe.
Therefore, your image can either make or break you in a critical business deal.

It is no news that the most successful people in every sphere of the society are those who look the very best on the outside. They do not leave their second impression to chance but give a lot of thought to their appearance.

Therefore, in a bid to stand out and move forward in life, you should strive to dress the way people above you in your place of work or office, dress. Simply put, if you are a receptionist, dress the way the personal assistant to the CEO would dress. This is guaranteed to attract the right people in the right places to help and open doors for you!

Now it is essential to cut your coat according to your size. No one is asking you to spend your whole salary on your wardrobe. You could always get nice and fabulous items at affordable and inexpensive prices. What I am trying to say is that you pay more attention to your appearance and grooming. And for those out there who strive for morality and decency, there are nice, modern and tastefully designed clothes which will make you decent and classy all at the same time!

It is no magic. If you dress awesome, you would feel awesome and you would also begin to exude all the pride, confidence and self esteem you never thought you had.

So to all my readers out there, always strive to dress like a winner cause if you dress like a winner, you would think and feel like a winner!
You only live once, make the most of your life!

Xoxo!
Iamthedemigoddess!

written for Haba Naija blogs

Loving Me

“What are you doing for valentine?”
Ever since I reached my adolescent years, I laugh every time I’m asked this question. After all, it is said that it takes two to tango and since valentine is supposed to be that ‘special’ time when you do something ‘special’ for your lover, I guess I don’t fit into that valentine category.

As a result of the non-existent love life *my imaginary marriage with Banky-W doesn’t count!*, I have taken to answering that question in different creative ways every year. This year, my answer is “Watching paint dry!” It’s not a bad plan for a valentine day considering that there is no better way to announce my ‘singleness’ to the whole world other than to go to a valentine party alone and sit in between all the lovey-dovey couples!  Na wetin I dey find there?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am a sucker for love! I am one of those girls who just love to fall in love! Thing is, I have gotten to that stage where I am done kissing all the frogs of life while waiting for one to turn into a prince! No! Now, I have decided to put a padlock around my mouth, throw away the keys into Elegushi beach while waiting for my real prince to arrive and melt away the padlock with his kiss of love! Call me crazy, Love is crazy!

In my life’s journey to love, I have discovered that before I can love that special person, I must first love me. So, my newest plan is simple: fall in love with me! Yea! I’m going to fall in love with that pretty girl I see in the mirror. I’ll fall in love with her 5’4 inches self *even though she wishes she was a bit taller*. I’ll fall in love with her successes and her failures, her beliefs and her ideologies, her habits and her crazy ass attitudes! In totality, I’m falling in love with me! Call it narcissistic if you wanna cause this is the real shit!

A friend of mine once said, that in a bid to understand life, people pull their lives apart by trying to segment the various part of their lives. They put a divide between their sexuality and their spirituality, between their jobs and their personality and so on, not knowing that the binding ingredient is Love. Love brings the whole ‘you’ together!

So, yes! While I stick to my plan of watching paint dry this valentine, I’ll be loving me, every second and every minute from now and beyond!!

Written For Dr Foy
Do Download his latest song titled ‘Loving Me’ a valentine special at this link http://bit.ly/VHgQ47!!

Happy Valentine Peeps!!

XoXo..
Iamthedemigoddess!!

First Flight!

Yippee!!! 2013 is upon us! I’m super excited! Words can’t express how I feel and I’m totally grateful to God for giving me a superb 2012. He has been my Father, my Brother and my Best friend!! Love you so much Daddy!

Anyway, as I gorgeously step into this new year, I can’t help but reminiscence on the defining moments of last year. For the most part, I had my own fair share of joy, laughter, happiness, sadness and tears. It was a delicious blend of the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful! Still, I’m thankful.

One of the most remarkable experiences that defined my 2012 however will be my first flight! Yep! You heard right! My first flight! I would describe it though as my frightful first flight! Hehehe!

I know this is a total falling of hand but the hot, irresistible, delectable Isioma (if I don’t wash myself, who will? Lol!) had never ever been on a plane until October last year! *too embarrassing!*

It’s not my fault really. I love to pride myself as an adventurous person but being the only child of a Mom like mine definitely has it’s limitations. Before and even up till now, my mother would never ever trust the Nigerian airlines with her only daughter. Who could blame her? It wasn’t long until I started growing wary. I mean, if toddlers and teenagers could board an air plane, why couldn’t I?

My flying experience came anyway, although not in the manner I expected it. A bulk of the thanks however goes to Cameroon for opening their dams and unleashing all hell into the River Niger. My heart goes out to all those who lost their loved ones and properties in that deadly flood. May God’s grace rest upon them.

So, the roads were flooded, schools were resuming and Isioma the jackometer had to get back to school! This was my opportunity and I seized it with my perfectly manicured hands! Nothing could stop me from my first flight!

For days, I had to persistently persuade my Mom that the only way back to school was by taking a flight! I could see the resistance in her eyes but slowly and reluctantly she agreed!

Nothing could describe my joy as I elegantly cat walked into Transcorp hotel to book my flight! I was totally walking on sunshine! The flight was slated for the next day and I was elated!

The trip to the airport was uneventful but I had thousands of butterfly fluttering in my tummy! I was both nervous and excited. Questions ran through my mind like will I fall my hand? Is this the day I die? Am I sure I really want to do this?

Anyway, I was promptly cleared and checked in, although I couldn’t understand why I was asked to remove my shoes and all the other yeye protocols. However, when I saw big big men removing their shoes and belts and holding their oversized trousers by the waist, it was a total comic relief!

Luckily for me, the airport was bursting with Igbinedion peeps and I happily joined in the fun! Soon, our flight was called and we all lined up. My heart was beating to the rhythm of an invisible zulu drum! Wow!

To cut a long story short, I entered the plane and my sit was by the aisle. From my seat, I could see the wings of the plane. The flight attendants were guys and they were all cuteee! The pilot was oyinbo and had this funny nasal accent. I could barely understand a word he said!

The plane was about to move and I proceeded to buckle myself firmly to the seat. Much to my dismay however, I noticed that the seatbelt was not like any seatbelt I knew! I tried and tried but I was a total JJC when it came to aeroplane seatbelts! I had no option than to ask the guy sitting beside me to help me buckle up. I almost died of embarrassment!

Soon, the plane took off. They say the taking off part is the weirdest part. I say the WHOLE flying part is the weirdest part! Nothing prepared me for this.
I couldn’t shake off the immense pressure on me and the humming sound of the plane was highly annoying. Worst of all, the plane wasn’t steady! It would go down like it was about to fall then as if it was correcting itself it would go back up! I almost asked the guy sitting beside me if this was normal!

It didn’t feel right and I felt like crying, shouting and rolling on the floor all at the same time! The pilot wouldn’t stop talking and his voice made me extremely nervous! I thought pilots were only supposed to talk when the plane was about to crash! I started having panic attacks. I could actually imagine myself running up and down the plane and screaming like a banshee! I was so tensed and it was the longest 40 minutes of my life!

The cutest flight attendant soon came rolling his trolley and asked me if I wanted water or juice. My brain was frozen! I stared at him for a brief second, before I muttered “Juice” in reply.

Mercifully, the plane got to Benin and had a safe landing. Relief washed over me and I was more than happy to get off the plane! One of my friends commented about how smooth the flight was! I just smiled, formed and agreed that the flight was perfect! *winks*

Looking back, it was a lovely experience even though I had motion sickness for 2 straight days! I look forward to many more adventures this year and encourage you all to live as hard as you can, after all you only live once!

This is to wish you all, a gorgeous new year filled with joy, happiness, laughter and God’s many blessings!
May the riches of His grace dwell in us!

XoXo..
Iamthedemigoddess!!

Musings of a Gold Digger.

https://i2.wp.com/www.isiomaculture.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/money-love.jpg

    1. Gosh!! I have sorely missed the blogosphere world! Well, I am back now, so its lights, camera, ACTION! Lol!

      Before we proceed, I have rated this ‘Girls Only’! So if you are a guy, you might wanna stop here and go pick some flowers for your chic! *winks*

      So, let’s begin!
      Some days ago, I came across this lovely article written by a sweet unknown lady! What thrilled me the most was her transition from the ‘baby’ thinker that she was to the funny, smart, witty lady she grew up to be! Life does that!

      Anyway, I took it, edited it, gave it a cool title and posted it simply for your enjoyment!
      So girls and guys, (I know you are still here na! Una eye too dey chuk! Lol!) Enjoy after this cut!!

      “When I was younger I believed in unconditional love. I dated guys with empty pockets, stingy ass dudes who would rather pretend to be broke than loan their mother 10 bucks. But it didn’t matter to me. Everything I have and ever wanted, I bought with my own money. So whether a guy spent money on me or not, had a good car or not, or lived with his parents at the age of 30, I wasn’t bothered. Instead I believed in ‘building with my man’. The naïve little girl in me actually believed that ‘if you are with a man when he has nothing, he will always remember you when he has something’.
      Fast forward a couple of years and throw in the speed bumps and punches of life, I am now a completely different person. Well maybe not totally different, just wiser and smarter and not ashamed to say so.
      From now on before I date a guy he must pass the financial acid test! Good job, good car, nice flat, generous, with dollops of ambition and drive! Gone are the days when I was fasting and praying for a man to buy his first car only for him to put another woman in the front seat of my own car!. Haba!!! my mother didn’t raise no fool! I will fast and pray with you for that promotion, while the AC of your current car is blowing me on my face. I will get up and seek the Lord early in the morning for his salary increase when I have recovered from our romantic getaway in Paris or St Tropez. I will cook the best tasting efo riro soup & peppered snails known to man while I am in his fully fitted kitchen and furnished home. I will hold his hand through all of life’s ups and downs while he treats me like the princess I deserve to be whilst proving to me that he was raised by a queen. And if all this makes me a gold digger, then I’ll say it loud- I’m a proud one!!!

      Correct chic right?? Hehehe!!
      Call her a gold digger if you may, but every girl deserves this! Girls, what do you think? Guys, I hope your chic loved the flowers?? Lmaoo!!

      XoXo..
      Iamthedemigoddess!!

  • That Phone Phobic Dude!

    Temi looked at her phone for the umpteenth time! It was almost as if she and her phone had been hard wired together!!! *arghhhh!* I felt so exasperated!

    “Temi seriously! You don’t have to literary wait for him to remember to ping or call you all the time!” I half shouted.
    I had zero tolerance for nonsense and this girl was seriously working my nerves!

    She just smiled at me and shrugged.
    Chai! But she was such a pretty girl though. Temi was so much in love with her boyfriend of roughly one year. They were so cute together almost like a match made in heaven. But like every other relationship, they (or would I say, She) had their own dose of problems.

    Henry had the worst communication problems ever known to man! He could go a whole month without calling her and he had a whole line up of flimsy excuses such as
    “Baby, I’m too busy”, “I’m sorry honey, it totally skipped my mind”, ” Cupcake, you know calling is not in my nature” and the one that amused me the most when I heard it “Sweetie, I don’t have credit” *sho! Na the girl wey get credit?*

    In fact, Henry didn’t just understand the importance of communication at all. He didn’t see the need to call her all the time and he was incapable of sustaining a reasonable conversation while pinging her! It wasn’t like he was boring or anything like that o! On the other hand, he was so much fun to be with. Problem was he just wasn’t interested in paying attention to romantic details.
    And Temi was such a romantic!

    I once had a friend who broke up with her boyfriend because he hadn’t called her in the span of one week! But here was Temi, who had practically sustained her relationship for one year by calling everyday and initiating every blackberry conversation! It was really tiring and I was glad that she was gradually getting pissed off!

    The question then arises.
    What does a girl do with a guy who seems to neglect the essence of communication? A guy who finds it hard to pick up the phone everyday, day and night, to whisper sweet nothings to his heartthrob?? A guy who seems to have suddenly developed a phobia for using phones??? *What does he need? A town crier? Smh!*

    One thing for sure is that the importance of communication in a relationship cannot be over emphasized. Communication between two people in love is straight from the heart. It comes from two intertwined hearts that beats as one. So, for me, communication should be done out of love and not as a responsibility.

    Therefore, I think it’s quite unnecessary sticking with a guy (or babe) who doesn’t value the importance of communication. No need to stress yourself waiting day and night for a ping or a call that might never come. No need to mention to him/her again and again how frustrating their attitude is. No need to listen to his/her excuses about being busy cause in the real sense, love will always seek it’s own, no matter how busy!

    So, if you ever find yourself in such a situation and have tried all your possible best (including calling for 3 straight months!) to make it work and it all ended up fruitless, don’t be afraid to walk away!

    You might think the pain of it would kill you, but trust me it wouldn’t.
    Remember that what wouldn’t kill you will only make you stronger and moreover there are many sumptuous, delicious fishes in the river! So why stress??

    PS: Please let me get your take on this. Can you cope with a non-communicative boyfriend/girlfriend?? Spill the beans!
    Much love!!

    XoXo..
    Iamthedemigoddess!!

    The PHCN factor.

    It had been a long boring seminar. I was hungry, tired and my muscles were crying out for a massage. All I could do was focus my mind on the next thing on the agenda which was the much awaited ‘item 7’. Involuntarily, my mouth watered and my tummy heaved.

    “We would like to thank you all for your patience and for making this seminar a great success.” The host said over the microphone. He was another reason why I had sat through this nerve wrecking, boring seminar.
    Oh! How captivating he was! He reminded me of those greek gods in ancient tales! And his voice… His voice was the most exquisite sound I’d ever heard…

    “We are now moving on to the next agenda which is the refreshment.”
    His sweet voice ended my day-dreaming and I felt my tummy rumble again. *sighs.*

    “The organizers of this seminar have put in place lovely dishes for your delight. You would also be given special souvenirs and resource materials for your own use. Enjoy”

    Soon the ushers came and with much ado, organized us into an orderly queue. *the impatience of Nigerians though.*
    Everything was going fine. The sharing of the food and materials were reasonably fast and soon the delicious scent of well cooked fried rice wafted through the air. Words could not describe my impatience.

    Just when I thought I was getting there, the queue growing shorter by the minute, my stomach seriously anticipating a free wonderful lunch, the unexpected happened. The lights went out and the soft purring of the air conditioners gave way to silence!

    I couldn’t believe my eyes as I wondered to myself the worse that could happen now. I really shouldn’t have thought that because the next thing that happened took my breathe away!

    There was a loud cry, almost like a war cry and then a commotion ensued. All I could hear was yelling and the tearing sounds of paper. I was shoved *more like boxed* rudely to a corner and I began to panic looking for a way out.
    Then the unexpected happened again. The stand-by generator kicked up to life and soon enough, illuminated the whole mess.

    The horror! All around us lay torn pieces of the resource materials that were being shared out and the food… Oh! My beloved fried rice! Someone had jumped into the carton in which the take away packs of food had been arranged and had created a big mess! There went my lunch! I felt an overwhelming urge to cry!

    I didn’t know who to blame. PHCN or the unexplainable attitude of my fellow country men? I chose PHCN anyway because as far as I was concerned, they caused it all!

    The idiosyncrasies of PHCN/NEPA *or whatever they are called* has eaten deep into the Nigerian system. Government after government have promised us constant light but instead, blackouts have been the order of the day!

    I recall a time when my mother got tired of paying PHCN bills when we virtually had no light for one month! She went to the nearest PHCN office and to her greatest surprise, saw that they were in the same position as us. In front of their office was one small ‘I beta pass my neighbour’ generator, fully on!! Where does one begin to complain? *yeye dey smell*

    Almost every night, in village hospitals, babies are born with the help of a candle or a Nokia torch light phone, businesses in Nigeria are run down because of the extra cost to run a generator and those poor households who can’t afford a generator set suffer the intense Nigerian heat! It’s almost as if Nigeria wouldn’t be complete without power outages!

    Nigerians, in a bid to add humor to the whole PHCN idiocy have coined acronyms such as ‘Never Expect Power Always (NEPA)’ and ‘Please Hold Candle Now (PHCN)’!
    In fact, I’m sure that the first two words that the average Nigerian child learns are ‘Up NEPA’!

    Although some people say the light situation is getting better, I choose to disagree with that. As long as Nigeria can’t boast of a full year of constant light like our Ghanian brothers, then nothing is getting better!

    We therefore pray and hope that this beloved government of ours will add into their ‘to-do list’ this persistent problem of ours. Abi, wetin person go do??

    XoXo..
    Iamthedemigoddess!!

    Exam Palava!

    Tada!!! Who missed me? *wide grin*

    So sorry for the long break in transmission. I had to pause all blog activities to write my second semester exams and by His grace, it went well. *whew!*

    I must tell you, examination periods are usually fun for me, cause I have an awesome time watching my fellow mates pull all the stunts in the world to bring in microchips into the exam hall! *now no one should form ‘holy’! I can bet my newest brazilian that it is done in EVERY school!*

    A time came when the exams got too tough, and the invigilators got too strict, that one mischievous fellow began to yell at the top of his voice, screaming “Snake! Snake!!” and the whole examination hall was thrown into a state of chaos!
    In the midst of all the commotion, chukuli’s were exchanged, answers were shared, exam booklets exchanged and the battle for survival continued!! The lecturers were lost for words!

    Now, inasmuch as I don’t engage in the ‘art of chukuli carrying’, I try not to judge those who do, after all, nobody holy pass!
    To face facts, the matter of whether it is right or wrong is really a matter of opinion after all I once heard a classmate say and I quote, “u copy chukuli for night abi u read, all na jacking!” So you see, it’s all a matter of opinion! As for me, I have always been an advocate of read, pray and pass!

    For starters, this foolproof plan of read, pray and pass has some amazing sides!
    First of all, the overwhelming feeling of joy, satisfaction and achievement is priceless whenever you pass an exam that you invested so much time and hard work into. Nobody can take that away from you!
    The bestest *permit me to use that word* part of it all is that you get to keep all the ‘sorting’ money and do with it whatever you please! You can buy yourself those lovely shoes you’ve been coveting or that gorgeous top that almost made you faint out of sheer happiness! For guys, you can buy your girl that blackberry porsche you were never able to get her! *winks*.
    Either way, you get to have a blissful time just enjoying YOUR money!

    Now, I know sometimes we come across difficult courses with the most horrible of lecturers that it almost seems impossible to pass the course. Those times when you feel like shooting the lecturer, killing the person who invented school and burning the course to blazes! I’ve felt like that so many times. This is where the God factor becomes even more necessary! Remember that God is bigger than that lecturer *no matter his threats* and He is definitely bigger than your exams!

    So the next time you find yourself facing a mountainous exam, read like there’s no tomorrow, eliminate all fears and pray to the most victorious God ever known!

    XoXo..
    Iamthedemigoddess!!

    The Gbagauns And The Bullets: declaring a state of national emergency!!

    He opened his mouth, and I thought I was going to die!

    “My darling, your beauty is captivated me too much!”

    Ok! I knew I was beautiful, but this guy was giving me serious reasons to doubt that!
    Managing to throw a smile at him, I tried to imagine creative ways in which to kill my best friend Zara the next time I laid eyes on her.

    Zara had been determined to get me back into the dating business again. It had been a long one year recovery since my last disastrous relationship, and trust me, I wasn’t so enthusiastic about the whole thing. Zara had sensed my lack of interest, but being the she-wolf that she was, she practically nagged and hunted me down until I agreed to go on the stupid ‘blind date’ she had organized.

    Now, sitting across this guy in my favorite restaurant, I sincerely wished to be anywhere but here. If only I could receive an urgent phone call from a hot greenish alien telling me I was urgently needed in Mars, I wouldn’t hesitate in climbing into the spaceship and getting the hell out of here!

    Don’t get me wrong though, He wasn’t terrible to look at. In fact, Zara had taken advantage of my weakness for fine men and had sought out a delicious ensemble of tall, dark and handsome. As usual, my first impression had been “DAMN! I’m totally in this” but when the words started coming out of his mouth, they were like needles to my ears!!

    “My baby, what will you like to ordered? I have hear that they have plenty delicious food here”

    I just stared at him foolishly, not knowing whether to laugh or to cry. This situation was growing pathetic by the moment. Sensing my reluctance, He continued, “do not be shied of me, my dear! Or is it because I have not tell you my names? Ok. My name is Larry and your friend tell me that your name is Angela”

    Alright! I now knew exactly how I was going to kill Zara! Disguising a grenade in the form of a bubble gum for her was an excellent choice! How the hell could she do this to me?

    “What idiotic school turned you over?” I wanted to scream!

    But then again, could it really be his fault?
    It was no longer news that our Nigerian Educational system was no longer what it used to be. He probably used to be the academic champion of whatever school he was in. *I shudder at that thought though*

    Most of the time, we meet people, or watch videos of people who blow these gbagauns with confidence! That is the part that confuses me! Am I supposed to admire them for being so confident (a good self-esteem should be appreciated) or am I supposed to be angry at them for blatantly sawing my ears off with their horrible assemble of words?
    *the thing taya me*

    Anyway, irrespective of which, one major turn off for me is always going to be a guy who can’t speak good english! Gbam! There! I said it and I ain’t going back! Even if you hot pass Peter Okoye! On a second thought, I might consider you sha. *Winks*

    This was one of the reasons why i quit Facebook for a while and joined Twitter. There, I came in contact with ‘Gbagaun detector’ whose job is to detect your gbagaun (like the name implies), comment on it and post it for the world to see! Trust me, it is fun, when you are not the gbagauner though! That would be a nightmare! Lmao!!!

    This brings me to the matter at hand.
    Should they be laughed at or pitied? My friend Ada was the one who planted the concept of ‘pity’ in my head. I mean, who remembers ‘pity’ when a truck load of gbagaun is being delivered to you on a platter? *laff wan scatter me*

    But I have to admit that she made a point I never thought of before. These people were probably not as privileged as you were to attend the best school in town. Their teachers probably spoke the worst gbagaun ever known to man! They just had to make do with the best they had been given. Perhaps that explains the confidence. *chuckles*

    I have never visited a government owned primary school before, but I want to hope that adequate facilities have been laid down to teach our little future leaders of tomorrow our lingua franca. This is because at this stage, these children are in their formative years, and whatever their ‘uncle’ or ‘aunty’ says is law even if it is “your mommy is the best the cooker”!

    So, the next time you hear or see a gbagaun, remember this, do I pity or do I laugh? That’s one tough cookie!! Lmaoo!!

    XoXo..
    Iamthedemigoddess!!

    Damning Tradition?

    It had started as a harmless discussion until it blew up into a full blown argument!

    “It will take more than love for me to marry sombori o!” My friend shouted at the top of her lungs while I laughed hard at her pronunciation of the word ‘somebody’.

    The venue was my room and the participants were my roommates, our friends and I. Today the argument was on the type of men we could marry and the places they had to come from.

    “As for me,” she continued, “I cannot marry a yoruba man! Tufia kwa.”
    I chuckled to myself. Among the whole group, I was the only one who felt indifferent about marrying a yoruba guy. After all, I had been raised up in the ways of the yoruba’s.

    During the course of the conversation, it dawned on me how tribalistic we Nigerians could be. We always go on with phrases like “I can’t marry from here or there” and when you ask the reason for their opinions, they give you answers or excuses relating to the kind of traditional practices held in that area.
    Other times, you could hear things like, “they drink a lot in that area”, the men are just so lazy”, “witches like to fly at night in their village” (Before! Winch dey sleep?), “the guys turn me off”, or better still, the response I got from a friend who said she couldn’t marry an Edo man, “they like to bury their dead in the night” *laff no go kee pesin!*

    Anyway, our argument continued until we were led into the story of a certain young man who wanted to marry a girl. The family relatives of the young man took it upon themselves to go look into the young girl’s background. On getting to her village, the relatives were told that she was an ‘Osu’ (an igbo term for outcast). The family elders deliberated on the matter and the marriage was called off!
    This is a true story and yes, it happened in this 21st century. My mouth refused to close as my mind could not fathom what I was actually hearing.

    For starters, an Osu was any person who had been cast out from the community for a number of reasons. One reason I find interesting occurs when a family pledges itself and its generation yet unborn to a god for its protection. Such people were left alone and no form of communication was entertained. Marriage to them was unthinkable.

    Although, my friend was trying to point out that we should not willingly enter the fire of the Osu stigma because of love, I still find it quite amusing how people complicate their lives with some of this backward and archaic traditional practices. Is it not enough that we engage so much in tribalism that we also have to segregate among our own clan, village and brother?

    It is said that we are Africans and that our traditions form the basis of our way of life. But there comes a time when some baseless and backward practices which only seems to be injurious to the dignity of a man, must be replaced by the traditions of Christ which makes everyone equal and the weak, whole again.

    With Christ, there are no ancestral curses. With Him, you are not held accountable for the sins of your great, great, great, great, grand father who no one still remembers!

    Let us therefore break loose from the shackles of some backward traditional practices, and understand what is truly right, fair and just.

    Most especially, let us allow Christ to reign supreme in our hearts, we will be surprised to find how He makes life so deliciously simple!!

    XoXo..
    Iamthedemigoddess!!

    Loving Yourself.

    Sometime ago, I came across an article that really plucked at the strings of my heart and took away the words from my mouth. It brought back to my mind the words of Jesus when he instructed that we love our neighbours as ourselves.

    Everyday, we find ourselves struggling to love that difficult boss whose main aim seems to be sending us back into the labour market, that really annoying neighbour who plays the loudest music in town, or that tatafo woman in our street who will not leave our matter alone! We never know how hard love could be until we are compelled to love an extremely annoying person!

    The crux of the issue is that we can never find a way to love everybody if we don’t first find a way to love ourselves.

    It is important to note that loving ourselves doesn’t necessarily involve looking at the mirror for several hours and adoring every external feature there is. It involves a deep soul searching to discover who we really are and to find a way to learn how to love ourselves for who we truly are!

    Therefore I present to you, culled exclusively from ‘Tell a woman -the exclusive make up bible’, tips on how to love yourself! Enjoy!

    The Concept Of Self Love.

    To love one’s self is not a vain concept, it is a precursor to how much love we can give to another. So then we must ask ourselves, what is this concept of self love?

    Self love is founded in the knowledge that what makes us beautiful is not our external features alone but who we are inside. A man/woman who has no self love gives their selves slavishly to their spouse, their career, material things or even worse for a woman, to every man that tells her he loves her!

    Self love should be unconditional; we must love ourselves even when we make mistakes. No amount of self loathing has ever brought positive change into anyone’s life. In fact, the more you despise and feel small about yourself, the more vulnerable you’ll become to the same mistakes.

    How To Love Yourself

    Know your worth– human beings are the only ones who are created in God’s image and likeness.

    Forgive yourself– mistakes do not define us, letting go of guilt is the only way to move forward. Stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself.

    Be beautiful– no matter your complexion or height or size, be beautiful as you are, stop trying to be like someone else, let your own beauty shine through. You are not a photocopy but an original masterpiece. This includes not comparing yourself to others.

    Be generous– love gives freely, because it lacks nothing. If you have what others need (time, money, helping hands etc) give and your happiness will know no bounds. Be generous also to yourself, when you do something amazing take time out and congratulate yourself. When you are in need of a time out (from a hectic day at work, school, or home) treat yourself to a movie, ice cream, at the spa or anything else that makes you smile.

    Respect yourself– do not permit yourself to fall below your own standard- know your value and others will know it too. Treat yourself with dignity and people will treat you the same way.

    Patience– everything in life is a process, your growth in life is no different. Stop trying to hurry life to suit the tides of each passing fad. Do not get married until you find ‘mr right’ or ‘miss right’; don’t settle for less because your friends are getting married. Don’t rush to be rich, money comes and goes. True riches last when we figure out a wise way (no compromises) to make the wealth and sustain it.

    Let love be your highest goal, love God, love yourself and love others.

    culled from ‘Tell a woman- the exclusive make up bible’ by Jemima Semoy

    XoXo..
    Iamthedemigoddess!!